Ash Wednesday
March 9, 2011

To see the readings for the day, click here: www.usccb.org/nab/030911.shtml

Here it is, Ash Wednesday again. Today we get the annual call to return to God, to set aside the petty cares of daily life and focus on being reconciled to God. I love these readings -- I find them very comforting.

It's funny, those who have known me for years have heard me gripe about Lent a lot of times. I have griped about the mournful, joyless music, about the whole "sackcloth and ashes" approach, about liturgy bereft of joy. But over time, secretly, it has gotten under my skin. Lenten music is actually among my favorite. There is a piece called "Now the Acceptable Time" that ties beautifully into the second reading. The words are based in part on this reading, and the composer managed to really capture the sense of yearning and reaching for God that we are supposed to be feeling during Lent. It is an example of the adage that when we sing, we pray twice -- it evokes emotions in me that are far beyond what I get just reading the text.

Maybe I'm just in the right mental space to come to Lent this year, or maybe I've actually learned something, but more than a lot of other years, I feel like I get it this time: it is good to set aside my day-to-day priorities and focus on how much I need God in my life. It is good to dwell on the fact that I am the created, not the creator; on how much I need God's mercy. Speaking strictly for myself, I think that I am more receptive to the messages of Lent because the past few years have been difficult, and I have been stripped of a lot of my illusions of control. When my career was thriving and everything seemed to be going the way I said it should go, it was harder to accept that I am totally dependent on God's mercy. Give me a few years of employment related issues, some family mental health issues, upheaval in my church life, people close to me suffering big medical problems, and I find myself a lot less cocky.

I must admit that the third reading poses some challenges for me. Truly, when I took a couple years I took off from doing a Lenten blog, it was partly because I felt convicted by this reading. I mean, a prayer blog seems about as far as you can get from "going to your inner room, closing the door, and praying to the Father in secret." And I know from experience that it is very easy to get in God's way in this venture. I feel called to share my personal experiences, yet not have it be about me. It sounds insane, but I'm convinced it is possible. And it is what I am committed to. I hope to post my personal reactions and musings each day, but for the purpose to be not about me, but about God. I think sharing another's walk can help illuminate the path, and that's what I want to do. I am honored if anyone chooses to walk with me, and I thank you for your company. Please share your comments so that I know I'm not on the path alone!

Father in Heaven, thank you for bringing me back to this Lenten discipline. Thank you for making this time for us to slow down and re-evaluate our priorities. Please walk with me and with anyone who chooses to share in these meditations, and help us to discern the path you would have us follow. Help us to rightly prepare during this season, so that when Easter comes, we are prepared to fully appreciate and participate in the Easter miracle. Amen  ¶ 6:49 AM