Friday of the Third Week of Lent

April 1, 2011

To see the readings, click here; http://www.usccb.org/nab/040111.shtml

Today's gospel reading has someone asking Jesus what is the most important commandment.  He answers, in part: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Sitting here trying to write something about that, I am humbled.  It's just like, "hey, what can I possibly add to that?"   It is clear and succinct and makes itself perfectly clear.

I know that following those two commands can be challenging to actually do, but somehow, I feel sure God gives partial credit. God created us, and somehow it seems that he made us with a natural instinct to love ourselves first and foremost.  So loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength doesn't come naturally.  And as for loving our NEIGHBOR as our self, well, good luck with that.  Yes, we definitely can't keep these commandments on our own power.  It is another example of how totally dependent we are on God's grace.

But at the same time, I think God does recognize and appreciate our efforts.  Not that it would earn us salvation, but I still think it matters to God.  I think that when he sees us responding to his love and loving him back, it makes him smile.  And when we show kindness to other humans, and give to them when it isn't easy, and forgive them when they don't deserve it, I believe God notices and again, he smiles.  And just like a child responds to his or her loving parent's smile, I think at some level when God smiles at us, we know it.  We get that sense of feeling especially close to God.  And it is good.

On a personal note, I will have the opportunity to test myself on putting God first for the next week.  Keeping a discipline like this is fairly easy during the workweek, when I follow the same routine every day.  Weekends are always harder.  But starting tomorrow I am on vacation for 10 days.  So we will see if I am able to keep my Lenten discipline as well when I am under more flexible circumstances.

Holy Father, thank you so much for giving us such clear guidance on how to please you.  Please pour out your spirit upon us and help us to love and serve you, and to show our love for our neighbors.  Help us to suppress our self-centeredness and focus on serving you and our brothers and sisters.  Thank you, too, for forgiving us when we fall short and for showing us your undying love.  Lord, we lift up those who are ill or in need, especially Delaney Diggs. Please bless all those we pray for according to their needs, and please grant Delaney a peaceful passing into your care.  Amen  ¶ 10:08 PM 0 comments

  Thursday of the Third Week of Lent

March 31, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/033111.shtml

I suppose it is a bad sign that the only part of the readings that inspires me today is the Psalm, huh?  It is a Psalm we have used in Mass many times, so when I read it, I hear it in my head as sung prayer.  "If today you hear God's voice, harden not your hearts."

I guess, really, it summarizes the message of the two other readings.  The Jeremiah reading is about the people of Israel being faithless and hardening their hearts to God, and the Luke reading is about people who watched Jesus cast out a demon and managed to construe it, somehow, as the work of the devil.  That sounds pretty hard-hearted, too.

The problem of course, is knowing when we are hearing God's voice. I'm sure we'd all like to believe that we would never harden our hearts to God.  But if you look at how He reached out to people in both the Old and New Testaments, and throughout the history of the church, it is pretty easy to see how someone who didn't mean to close their heart to God might have done so. 

I have a little confession to make here.  When I hear accounts of the saints, I sometimes question the sanity of some of them.   I will read these accounts of the things that got them canonized and I'll say to myself, "Really?  That got them sainthood instead of a trip to the mental institution?"  Because I think a lot of the things the saints did would be interpreted as bad mental health in today's culture.  I mean, St. Joan of Arc, the patron saint of my parish, heard voices, for Pete's sake!

I have known people who felt God's call and went into ordained ministry when it completely upset the applecart of the life they had built.  That takes courage and faith, and I respect it.  But sometimes I wonder what OTHER actions the voice of God calls me or someone else to do that we don't act on because it just sounds so crazy, we have trouble being sure it is the voice of God.  You know, for every white Christian who stood up in the civil rights movement and spoke on behalf of his black brothers and sisters, there were hundreds who didn't.  Perhaps they heard some still, small voice urging them to do so, but the voices telling them to maintain the status quo were a lot louder.  I'll leave it to the reader to pick the issue of today to which we can generalize that argument.

Lord God, I thank you for calling us all to serve.  I pray that when you call, you will strengthen me in your spirit and give me the wisdom and courage to follow, even if it seems crazy.  Thank you for the path you've led me on thus far in my life.  Please continue to guide my steps where you would have me go.  I pray for my loved ones, and for those who are sharing this Lenten journey with me, that you would guide them to their right paths as well.  Please protect us from harm and help us to arrive at Easter better people than we are today. In Jesus name', Amen.  ¶ 10:09 PM 1 comments

  Wednesday of the Third Week of Lent

March 30, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/033011.shtml

Tough readings today!  Not tough in the sense that they make me squirm because they speak to me, but tough in the sense that I am challenged to know what to say about them.

In fact, I was so challenged that I went and got a Bible to read the verses around it.  This is a less-often quoted excerpt from the Sermon on the Mount. This part of it goes on for one more verse, which says: "I tell you, unless your holiness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees you shall not enter the kingdom of God." And strangely enough, even though it doesn't say anything particularly different than what is included in the reading, it sort of made it click for me.

I think this is one of those places where Jesus is making the point that no matter how "good" we are, we are incapable of being good enough.  The bar for our behavior under the law is unattainable.  We can never follow God's law well enough to earn our salvation.

No, salvation is only available as a free gift from God.  Jesus died on the cross to buy our salvation, and all we have to do is accept it.  Nothing we can possibly do will earn it, but it is ours for the asking. Of course, that leads to the whole question about good works.  Back in the days when I hung around a Lutheran seminary, there was all kinds of dialogue about the role of good works.  And in spite of the whole Epistle to James "Faith without works is dead" thing, I am convinced by the rest of the New Testament that in fact, works have nothing to do with salvation.  I believe good works are a reaction to salvation, the natural response to the greatest gift we could ever get.  But not necessary.

I know I've been writing a lot about Delaney, the daughter of my friend Renee, this year, but she is in her final days on earth and I am just thinking of her all the time.  For those who don't know, Delaney had cancer when she was seven, then a long remission, then another cancer at 14.  The family was told she wouldn't see Christmas, but she did, and Valentine's Day, and then her 15th birthday.  Now she is no longer eating or drinking, sleeping almost all the time, and her kidneys are shutting down.  The end is near.

I will always remember the faith that Delaney showed.  In those long months when they knew how it would end, but she still was pretty much herself, Delaney used to comfort her mother and siblings with talk of how she was going to prepare rooms for them in Heaven, and how she wasn't afraid, because she was going to be with Jesus.  We often use the expression "the faith of a child" but Delaney showed what it meant.  I don't think it ever crossed her mind to try to "earn" her salvation.  She just knew she had it. 

Father, thank you for giving us the gift of salvation, and thank you for the blessing of knowing Delaney and seeing what faith means through her life.  Please pour out your Spirit on Delaney and her family.  Give her a gentle passing into your eternal care, and give her family comfort and strength.  Bless all of us who are making the Lenten journey and guide us on the right path so that we might grow in our faith; help us to be secure in the knowledge of you and to respond in ways that please you. Amen  ¶ 10:07 PM 0 comments

  Tuesday of the Third Week of Lent

March 29, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/032911.shtml

I am just exhausted tonight, so this may not be my most inspired entry ever.  But I'm giving it my best shot!

Today's gospel is on a topic that must be very important to God, judging from how often he stresses it in the Bible: the imperative that we forgive our brothers and sisters.  It is the parable of the servant who is forgiven a huge debt and then goes and harshly demands repayment of a much smaller debt from another servant who owes money to him.  When the master finds out, he calls him in and challenges him, then has him thrown in jail "into the hands of torturers" until he can repay his debt. 

I am strangely put in mind of Father Ray Lavelle, who served our parish right before he retired, about 10 years ago.  He used to preach the most effective sermons on confession.  He had an advanced degree in psychology, and he would talk about what a benefit it is to the human psyche, as well as the human soul, to experience forgiveness.  He would always focus a lot of his preaching on just how good it feels to confess one's sins and be forgiven. I am sure that a lot more people went to confession when Father Lavelle was the one promoting it. 

I thought of that because my experience with forgiving others feels that same way.  I know that it pleases God  when I forgive others, but honestly, it also makes ME feel so much better.  Holding onto anger and hurts just makes them fester.  Letting them go is liberating.  Feeling hate toward someone who has wronged me hurts me and eats me up in side.  Letting go of those bad feelings frees me to enjoy life again.

I know that forgiving isn't always easy.  There have been times when someone has really taken advantage of me at work, or mistreated my son, or hurt me with their gossip, when it has not been easy to forgive.  The trick I learned -- actually, I believe it was recommended to me in the confessional -- was to pray for that person who had hurt me.  Over time, it becomes impossible to hold onto the bad feelings when I am praying for someone.  It doesn't happen the first day, but over time, I find my bad feelings toward the person just melting away. 

One little postscript here:  Father Lavelle suffered a serious stroke a few weeks ago and is recovering in a nursing home now.  His mind and spirit were both so bright and uplifting. It hurts to think of him diminished.  Please join me in praying for him.

Father, thank you for the gift of forgiveness.  Please help us to be willing to let go of those things that hurt us so that we might enjoy the far greater joy and liberation of forgiveness.  Be with us as we walk our daily path and help us to see our fellow travelers through the eyes of love. Help us to find our way along the Lenten journey, too. Help us to prepare ourselves so that we can fully participate in the Easter celebration when it comes.  We lift up Father Lavelle in a special way and pray that you will bless and keep him here on Earth and welcome him generously in Heaven when the time comes.  Amen  ¶ 10:17 PM 0 comments

  Monday of the Third Week of Lent

March 28, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/032811.shtml

The reading from 2nd Kings always interests me.  In it, a servant girl in another land tells an army commander who suffered from leprosy that there was a prophet in Israel who could heal him.  He goes to his king, who sends him off to Israel to be healed, and eventually is.

But it is the "eventually" part that contains all the interesting stuff.  First of all, Naaman (the commander) goes to the king of Israel with a letter from his king.  The king of Israel reads the letter and thinks he has been set up, because after all how could he heal a leper?

Isn't that just classic human behavior?  I mean, he jumped right to malice.  Didn't assume there must be some kind of mistake here, didn't ask questions about why this guy would think he could do this. No, he jumps straight to assuming he has been set up.  We humans are so quick to assume the worst!

But the prophet Elisha hears about it and sends word that the king should send Naaman to him.  When Naaman arrives, Elisha sends word that Naaman should wash seven times in the Jordan and he will be healed.  So of course, Naaman runs to the river, washes seven times, and everything is beautiful, right?  Well, not so much.  No, Naaman takes offense.  He somehow sees this as a slight to the rivers in his land.  He got angry and left.  Again, never asking for clarification, never pausing to consider why this was asked or even why it bothered him.  We humans are so hot-headed!

Only then did Naaman's servants convince him that it was worth trying what this prophet of Israel said.  He did, he was cured, and all ended well.  So well, in fact, that Naaman is mentioned in the time of Jesus in the Luke reading as an example of faith.  Which he was -- eventually.

Surely one of the lessons for today that we can take from this reading is just not to assume the worst of people.  I see this many times every day. Most often, the hurtful word, the slight, the failure to give credit where it is due, are the results of simple oversight or misunderstanding, not of malice.  We could all save ourselves a lot of grief if we just went to the positive first. Of course, a corollary to this is that we treat the negative like it is newsworthy and the positive like it isn't.  Kind of inconsistent, really, if we act on the assumption that everything is negative. 

I work at the Girl Scouts, and I overheard the manager of the cookie sale program on the phone one day this week.  She had received a call from someone who had found an envelope full of cookie money under his doormat.  It was marked as such, with the name to whom it was intended to go, but this guy didn't know the person.  The cookie manager had realized they were on the same street, so someone must have just gotten the house number wrong.  She was calling to get the accidental recipient of the money and the person to whom it was owed together.  And I thought of all the news stories that run during cookie season about people who cheat Girl Scouts, or about Girl Scout leaders who abscond with the money, or Girl Scouts who get busted for selling without a solicitor's license, and all that negative stuff.  But no one will hear a news story about this guy who sought out the Girl Scout council because he had an envelope full of cookie money that he wanted to get in the right hands.

Father, thank you for always being there to bring us back from the dark side. Help us to keep our hearts open, that we might see life through eyes focused on the potential for good instead of the potential for evil.  Please walk with us through these remaining weeks of Lent and help us to find the transformation you want for us.  In Jesus name we pray, Amen.  ¶ 7:35 PM 0 comments

  Third Sunday of Lent

March 27, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/032711.shtml

I have observed that I often get few or no page viewings on Sunday.  Which is not surprising because a.) people are going to church and hearing a sermon from someone trained to interpret these readings and b.) technically, Sundays aren't even part of Lent.  Today, I'm really grateful that nobody reads it on Sunday anyway.  These strike me as three unrelated lessons with little tying them together.  Or to put it a different way, "I got nothing!"

The reading from Exodus is another one of those where the people of Israel are showing no reason at all to justify their being God's chosen people, and poor old Moses is once again caught in the middle between them and God. 

The excerpt from Romans is uplifting.  Especially the verse that says "Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

And the gospel is from the book of John, where half the time the quotes attributed to Jesus don't even sound like they came from the same person who is quoted in Matthew, Mark and Luke.  The other three show us a gentle, humble, forgiving and self-sacrificing savior.  In this reading, when asked about the Messiah, Jesus says, “I am he, the one speaking with you.” Nothing humble or cryptic about that.  About half the time he sounds -- well -- arrogant in this gospel.

So I think I am going to let it go for today.  If I get any further inspiration, I'll update this.  If not, I'll return to my efforts afresh with Monday's reading.

Father, I thank you for calling me to this discipline even on the days when it doesn't come easy.  Thank you for your words of hope and comfort.  Please be with me and with all who are walking this Lenten journey with me. Amen  ¶ 8:45 PM 0 comments

  Saturday of the Second Sunday of Lent

March , 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/032611.shtml

Today's gospel is the beautiful story of the prodigal son.  The main message of it is the essential message of God's grace:  even though we have sinned miserably, all we need do is come back to the Father and he will welcome us with open arms.  In fact, he celebrates each return. All by itself, this would be enough meat to chew on for the whole of Lent.

But there are extra little touches to this story that have always intrigued me.  I just love the interaction between the father and the other son, who

is upset when he comes home and finds his father throwing a feast for his good-for-nothing brother.  It's easy to criticize the other brother but really, in his shoes, I think most of us would react exactly the same way.  He has stayed home, done his duty, worked hard, and watched his brother go off and indulge in a lot of earthly pleasures.  Now his brother returns home and instead of telling him off, his dad is throwing a party!  He is jealous and angry and feels unappreciated -- and who of us wouldn't? 

So what does his father do?  Put him in his place and remind him it's his estate to do with as he wills?  Reprimand him for not being a more loving brother?  Smack him up side the head a la Gibbs from NCIS? No, he gently reminds him how much he appreciates him, and then urges him to see what a cause for celebration it is that his brother has returned.  Just like I envision God: gentle, encouraging, moving us to do right by making us want to do it, not by instilling fear if we don't.

I will be the first to admit that my son is far from average, but there are some aspects of raising him that I suspect can be generalized.  And one of them is that since he was pretty young, if I get up in his face about something he will react by digging in his heels.  Confrontation leads to escalating confrontation and if I'm not careful, everyone will say things they regret.  But if I can keep my wits about me, I can often redirect him by appealing to his better instincts, and by letting him see that the change in behavior is important to me.  Often in those situations he will muster as much grace as he can and try to please me -- not necessarily without complaint, but shall we say, with minimal complaint.  And I think those interactions between us are a lot like ours with God.  He doesn't like open conflict, either, and he does like it when we can be motivated to want to please Him. He knows how apt we are to dig in our heels, too.  He could force us to comply, but that isn't the kind of compliance He seeks.

Thank you, Father, for loving us and wanting us to love you back.  Thank you for being so willing to forgive us and for welcoming us back no matter how many times we mess up.  Please help us to grow more attuned to how to please you, and more motivated to do so.  Strengthen us in our resolve to resist temptation and stay on the path that leads to you. Amen  ¶ 9:24 PM 2 comments

  Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord

March 25, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/032511.shtml

It feels odd, here in our Lenten preparations for Easter, to hear of Mary learning that she is pregnant with the baby Jesus.  But that's how it is, so of course, we will work with it.

Before I get to the gospel, which is the part of the readings that most spoke to me, I have to comment on the Isaiah reading.  Specifically, I just love the line where Isaiah says "Is it not enough for you to weary people, must you also weary my God?" That just sounds so quintessentially Jewish to me!  It convinces me as much as all the teaching of my lifetime that this is true scripture, handed down through generations. 

But moving on to the gospel lesson. In it Mary gets the visit from the angel telling her that she will bear the baby Jesus, and he the Lord will give him a throne and he will reign forever.  Of course,  the angel didn't include the whole dying on the cross part, but I suppose the shock it delivered was enough without going into all that.  I wasn't raised Catholic, and as a protestant it was always a little hard to understand how much Catholics revere Mary.   Since I have been Catholic I have learned about the rich body of tradition that grew up in her honor. But this is certainly the main passage that helps understand where those traditions found their roots.

I can't imagine myself or any woman I know responding to this message the way Mary did.  It's a lot easier to imagine a response of "Yeah, right!" or worse.  Possibly some aspersions on the sobriety of the messenger, or accusations of a bad joke.  And as it became obvious that this was actually to be her fate, I would imagine anger, bargaining -- basically all the phases of grief.  But definitely NOT "I am the handmaiden of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word."

But all joking aside, I guess that should be our response to a lot of things, a lot more often.  "Let it be done to me according to your word."  When we lose a job or get the short end of the stick at work: "Let it be done to me according to your word."  When a loved one is fighting a potentially terminal illness:
"Let it be done to me according to your word." When called upon to do dirty work, to inconvenience ourselves, to give until it hurts: "Let it be done to me according to your word."

And the thing is, I suspect that if we just said that, and meant it, of course, then God would provide us all the strength we needed for whatever was before us.  I speak not from my own experience -- I'm not that far along my spiritual journey -- but on what I've observed from watching some of my friends as they deal with adversity.  I have seen someone come to acceptance that her beautiful child will never be an adult and she must watch her pass moment by moment; another accept that her lovely daughter died of a disease no one thinks can be terminal and that now she will be raising her two grandchildren; another who still considered himself in the prime of his life slowly accept that he would never have meaningful employment again and turn to fulltime volunteering.  It is amazing to me that a person can take a blow like those and keep on ticking at all.  Yet I have seen people not only keep on going, but do so with grace and poise and acceptance and humor and compassion.  All of which I think came from outside themselves, when they humbled themselves to accept whatever was coming their way.

I have never been particularly good at accepting.  At times in my life I have thought this was a good thing -- that my strength came from my unwillingness to admit defeat, my tendency to always fight on.  And in some circumstances I think that is a strength.  More recently, as life has dealt me some adversity, I have tried to learn to accept with humility.  But sometimes I think I am not accepting as much as I am repressing -- just stuffing down the urge to fight, the need to scream, the instinct to lash out.  When I look at those people whom I admire, who have dealt with those huge losses with grace and compassion, I don't get the sense that they are repressing anything.  I get the impression that they have truly given up control and in its place, they have found the ultimate source of strength and peace.  I pray that someday, I may be so blessed.

Father, thank you for the model of Mary and more recently, of the people you put in my life.  Please guide me and help me to find some portion of their grace and submission.  Help me to understand when you want me to be strong and when you want me to be submissive.  Father, again as every day, I pray for all those in my life who have such huge needs: those who are ill, whose loved ones are ill, whose lives are bringing new challenges, who need work.  Please pour out your spirit and heal us all.  I continue to lift up all those who are sharing this Lenten journey with me. Please help us each to find the right path you have in mind and when we do let us, like Mary, say "Let it be done to me according to your word." Amen  ¶ 8:10 PM 1 comments

  Thursday, the Second Week of Lent

March 24, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/032411.shtml

This reading about Lazarus has always intrigued me.  I mean, I know it's just a parable, not an account of something that truly happened, but still I find it mind boggling.  First of all, the Pharisee has died and been carried off to the netherworld for eternal torment, and even then he doesn't get it.  He has the audacity to ask to have Lazarus sent down to wait on him!  Sounds like he needed to hear yesterday;s reading from Matthew, about those in power being servants. 

But his audacity didn't stop there.  Even after being told, in so many words, you are being punished and he is being rewarded, get over it, he actually asked to have Lazarus sent back to deliver the message to  his brothers who were still alive, so they'd have time to repent before they died. Abraham points out to him that they already have the messages of Moses and the prophets, but he replies that they'd believe Lazarus.  Father Abraham ends the discussion by telling him that if his brothers don't believe Moses and the prophets, then they probably aren't going to be persuaded by someone who rises from the dead, either.  Which, of course, becomes the ultimate irony, since the teller of the parable will, in fact, rise from the dead soon.

As much fun as it is to rail about the ignorant pride of the Pharisee, I have to admit that I am also gripped with just a bit of fear that perhaps I'm the Pharisee in the story rather than Lazarus.  I hope not.  I try to be more a servant than a Pharisee.

Right now there are just so many people in my life who are sick. I feel so powerless as I get these frequent messages about the slow but steady progress of various cancers.  I pray and pray, but it doesn't feel like I am doing enough.  I literally find myself waking up in the middle of the night and lifting up my list of sick people on my prayer list.  But I still feel like I should be physically doing more. 

Oh Lord, I thank you for the lessons of Lent.  Thank you for calling us to be servants and showing us how absurd we look when we instead act like we are somehow entitled.  Please pour out your spirit on all my sick loved ones and give them strength.  I especially pray for peace for Delaney, and solace for her family.  For those of us in good health, please guide us on our Lenten journey and help us to find the path you would have us follow. Amen  ¶ 10:17 PM 0 comments

  Wednesday of the Second Week of Lent
March 23, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/readings/032311.shtml

In today's gospel reading, Jesus gives the now familiar directive that we are not to be like the rulers of this world, lording it over others, but that we are to be servants to one another.  This is one of those directives we hear so often in a life of Christianity that it can become easy to lose our focus on how counterintuitive it really is. 

How many stories have we heard in the news about political leaders, religious leaders, business leaders -- anyone in a position of power, really -- becoming increasingly full of themselves and twisting the perks of their position into ever increasing power grabs.  We hear stories of graft and corruption that seem shocking on one level but then again, not really.  Because it is clear that little abuses of power don't shock us at all;  it is only the magnitude that sometimes still has the power to shock.  Surely one of the truest adages ever is that "power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." 

THAT is the truth that Jesus tells us to go against.  We have been called to follow him, to carry on his powerful work, but we are not to act as though we have power at all.  We are to be servants to one another. to follow the example of Jesus' willingness to serve so far that he gave the ultimate sacrifice, giving up his life for us. 

Bringing it down to a level a little closer to home, I think that means for most of us that we not only don't try to take the credit for the work of others, but that we're willing to stand aside and let someone else get the recognition even when we contributed.  I think it means that we don't just make time for our friends or family members to talk when it is convenient, when we FEEL like talking with them, but also when it is inconvenient, when there are a thousand other things pressing us that we would rather be doing.  And yes, the more conventional images too: that we get our hands dirty, dish out food to those who come through the line at a soup kitchen, give our time where it is needed, not where it is fun to give. 

We are called to serve, and I don't know any Americans who grow up wanting to become a servant.  Maybe this call is even harder for us than for those who grow up in some other cultures.  But it is our calling.

Father, thank you for calling us to serve, and thank you for setting the example with the way you lived your earthly life as well as your ultimate sacrifice of that life.   Pour out your spirit upon us and strengthen us in our resolve to serve.  Help us to accept the roles you put us in, even the lowly ones, and to perform them all to your glory. Amen  ¶ 7:12 AM 0 comments

  Tuesday, Second Week of Lent
March 22, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/032211.shtml

Here's the part of the readings that jumped out at me:  "Come now, let us set things right, says the LORD: Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow; Though they be crimson red, they may become white as wool. If you are willing, and obey, you shall eat the good things of the land."

It is amazing how consistent God is in his message:  no matter how bad we are, all God ever asks is that we "set things right" -- that we repent.   I mean, that quote above is aimed at the people of Sodom and Gommorah!  Surely if they can become "white as snow," that is good news for the rest of us!

I have to laugh, sort of, when I think how often in previous years I have whined about how Lent is so depressing, when this year I am finding if so full of inspiration and uplift.  Since the daily leessons don't really change year to year except for the odd feast day, I'm guessing the change must be inside me.  The past few years were really, really tough ones for me, but apparently, the gift I got from them is the gift of being able to know when I'm being encouraged.  Or perhaps it is the gift of appreciating the gifts God gives. All I know is that now, I see encouragement in most of the readings and blessings at every turn in my life.

Father, I thank you so much for bringing me safely through those long hard years.  Thank you for satisfying employment, for good health, for stability in my parish and my family.  Thank you for the wonderful people with whom you have populated my life.  Help me to always focus on your word and your will for my life.  Help me to repent quickly when I get off course.  Help me to find the path you would have me follow this Lent and lead me and all those who walk this journey with me to a full appreciation of the Easter miracle.  Amen.  ¶ 10:10 PM 0 comments

  Monday, Second Week of Lent
March 21, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/032111.shtml

What a beautiful gospel reading! Basically, it says again, in more detailed words, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  As many times as that message appears in the Bible, it seems like God is rather serious about it!

I have to laugh when I think how many people there are who are defiantly NOT Christian, who would never consider trying to measure their life by the teachings of the Bible, but believe strongly in the concept of karma.  Which is, of course, just another culture's way of saying "do unto others as you would have others do unto you," or even more colloquially, "what goes around comes around."

I know in some moments it can be hard to live by these concepts, but really, overall, I think they make life more livable. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't find this precept quite as challenging as I find some of the others.  I actually think it helps me in life to have this simple rule against which to measure my choices.  In an awkward situation?  Not sure what to say?  What would I want the other person to say to me in this situation?  That's what I should say.  Feel like someone else did something mean or thoughtless and unsure how to react?  How would I want someone to react if I mistakenly offended?  How would GOD react?  Guess I'd better forgive and assume no evil intent. 

As I said, for me this passage isn't so much challenging as it is reassuring and inspiring.  Not that it's always easy, but at least I understand what is being asked and feel like I can achieve it much of the time.  And having it as a guide makes my decisions easier.

On a somewhat different note, my friend whose daughter, Delaney, is fighting terminal cancer is nearing the end of her fight.  Her mother writes that she hasn't eated since Thursday, is taking in very little fluids, hasn't been meaningfully awake in over a day.  They have stopped all meds but morphine, and she is resting quietly.  I ask your prayers for her and perhaps even more, for her family.  Delaney's battle has been the centerpiece of their life for too long; it will be not only a tragic loss, but a huge hole in their lives when Delaney's battle ends. May God help Delaney go in peace and may God bless the family with both comfort and the strength to live on.

Another friend who I know to be a prayerful person posted something on Facebook a few days ago about how sometimes the many prayer requests become a lot to handle, while at the same time making her realize how paltry her little problems are in the grand scheme.  I have experienced that feeling before myself.  Right now, in addition to Delaney, I have at least four close personal friends battling serious cancers, plus an extended family member awaiting a lung transplant, a close friend just feeling her way through sobriety with AA, and another former colleague who has asked for prayers for private issues she is dealing with right now in her path of personal growth.  Oh, and two beloved priests who formerly served our parish are ill -- one recovering from a major stroke and probably looking at a lengthy rehabilitation, the other just out of the hospital for a major illness of still undetermined origin.  Then when you add on the ailing parents and more distant relatives of loved ones for whom I 've been asked to pray, and the needs of my parish community and especially the music ministry that means so much to me, and..... well, the point is, I don't think I have ever experienced such a concentrated onslaught of prayer needs.  If you are out there walking this journey with me, please add all these concerns to your prayers as well.  I do believe in the power of prayer and I don't feel strong enough to lift all these needs alone.  And if you have needs you'd like to put out there for others to support, please just add them in the comments.  Maybe that's part of what God has in mind for this little blog -- to be a place where we can join our prayers in support of each other and those in need.

Father in Heaven, I thank you so much for loving us and granting us forgiveness.  Please strengthen me and all my loved ones in our resolve to always live out your Golden Rule.  Help us to let go of that which is hurtful and always focus on how we should treat each other, as we would want to be treated.  Lord, I especially lift up Delaney and all those who have asked for my prayers.  Please pour out your spirit on those in need and help them to know that they are supported in prayer.  Please bless those who share in this meditation and help us all to support each other in prayer that we might lighten each other's loads and strengthen our Christian bonds.  Amen.  ¶ 9:53 PM 0 comments

  Second Sunday of Lent
March 20, 2011
To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/032011.shtml

It is the reading from the Second Letter of Paul to Timothy that most spoke to me. It is short, but it says a couple of really interesting things.  First, it says that we are to bear our share of hardship for the gospel, with strength that comes from the Lord. I guess what strikes me about that is that we are all going to bear hardship, no matter what.  So the key here is the idea of bearing it "for the gospel." I think that makes all the difference -- the same hardship seems more bearable, somehow, when it is borne for that higher purpose.

But like I said, there's a lot of meaning in this short reading -- even in this little part of it.  Because in addition to bearing our hardship "for the gospel," we are told to bear it "with strength that comes from the Lord."  So there is also the message here that God will give us the strength we need to bear these hardships.  You hear people say things like that often, but I find it reassuring to find it actually in the Bible.

The second part of the reading that I found meaningful is a little hard to read, because, well, Paul rarely writes in simple, direct sentences.  But if you winnow out some of the dependent clauses and all, Paul says "He saved us and called us to a holy life.... according to his own design and the grace bestowed on us in Christ Jesus."  I somehow find that immensely comforting, too.  That I have been called to a holy life through grace.  I have been called to live a holy life -- a life in communion with the Almighty, and God has given me the ultimate gift -- grace -- to empower me to live that life.  What a gift -- I am called to the ultimate fulfillment, and I am given the means to achieve it as a free gift. If that's not the core of the gospel, I don't know what is.

I know my life isn't holy in the sense that it is perfect.  I make mistakes every day, I treat people badly or at least cavalierly, I mess up in a million ways.  But I do feel it is holy in the sense of belonging to God, of being dedicated to Him.  I know that for all those mistakes and failings, my intentions are right.  I try.  And it gives me great comfort to think that God has given me the grace and strength to stay on the path.

Dear Lord, thank you for the grace and strength you give me and all of us.  Thank you for helping us to bear the hardships of life by living it to your glory.  Please continue to walk with me and all of us who are sharing this Lenten journey and help us to stay focused on living  a holy life ot your glory.  Inspire us to new insights and help us to reach Easter with a new appreciation of the gift you have given. Amen.  ¶ 10:15 PM 0 comments

  Solemnity of Saint Joseph, Husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary
March 19, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/031911.shtml

My apologies if there is anyone out there reading this, especially if you tried to read it before I got it posted.  I started it last night but just couldn't seem to get anywhere on it.  This morning I had to work and have just now returned home to turn my attention to this.  Again, my apologies if you were unable to read it at your usual time.
If nothing else, you have to admire how well these readings hang together thematically. From the promise that David's heir will reign forever to Paul's teaching about that subject in his letter to the Romans to the fulfillment of it in Jesus, it just flows.

Which, I find, my meditaiton is not doing tonight. (That's how far I got on my first attempt at this posting.)

I feel like I ought to try harder to do right by Joseph.  He is one of the characters who seems to get short shrift in the Bible. He may not have been Jesus' biological father, but he played the role of father in his upbringing.  And we all know how important that role can be in one's formative years.  I know this isn't the same thing, but I can think of several examples from my family and my husband's where someone has stepped into the role of father and made a huge, lasting difference in a young person's life. 

The only grandfather I ever knew was actually a step-grandfather.  As I understand it, my dad's real dad was a mean, cruel, bitter man.  I often say, when I want to make a dramatic effect, that my grandmother stayed around through the beatings, but finally left him when he got her younger sister pregnant.  Sadly, it is the absolute truth.  After she left him, she left her young sons with her own father while she went out to try to find work and provide for them.  He was also unkind and for reasons I don't know, favored a cousin over them in ways that were blatant and cruel.  As my father told it, the first kindness he ever knew was when his mother married the man I knew as Gramps.  He had no children of his own and seemed to be happy to assume the role for two scraggly, ill-cared for boys.  He went on to welcome my mother into the family and dote on her when she moved here from Louisiana, and was as loving and generous as any grandfather.  Because my dad was still off fighting in World War II when my oldest brother was born he and my mother lived with my dad's parents, and Gramps was the first male role model in my oldest brother's life.  Even after Dad got home from the war, there remained an extraordinary bond between Gramps and my brother.  I feel sure he would say today that Gramps had the biggest influence on his life of anyone.

I know that isn't quite like the situation with Joseph, but there is some commonality.  I have to believe that the lessons learned from his earthly "father" helped shape Jesus into the man who was able to accept and fulfill the will of his Heavenly Father.  And while the church spends a lot of time focusing on how how Mary accepted God's will for her, perhaps we should more often mention that Joseph, too, accepted the message of the angel on one telling and immediately went and obeyed. That was not an easy message, and I don't think anyone would blame him if he had balked.  But he didn't -- he accepted and went on.

Holy Father of us all, thank you for choosing Joseph to be the earthly father to your Son.  Thank you for the example he gave us, both of gracious acceptance of your will, and of being a loving father to the young man entrusted to him.  Please help all of those who find themselves in difficult situations where they might be called upon to love another's child, or to serve the role of parent when it wasn't asked for and isn't easy.  Please pour out a special blessing on those who fill the role of father, especially those who didn't seek it.  In Jesus name, Amen.  ¶ 3:10 PM 0 comments

  Friday of the First Week of Lent
March 18, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/031811.shtml.

I can hardly believe we are back at Friday again.  Wasn't the opening fish fry of the season just yesterday? I want nothing more right now than for time to just s-l-o-w down. I know that's what Lent is supposed to be for, but the parts of my life over which I am not in control are not really cooperating with that concept at all!

In today's reading from Matthew Jesus says the famous line about how if you realize on your way to the altar that your brother has anything against you, go first and be reconciled with your brother and then come back and offer your gift.  And in the reading from Ezekiel, it says that God rejoices when a wicked man repents.  So I guess these readings were chosen to get us to focus on forgiveness.

Forgiveness is one of the core mysteries of the Christian faith. Somehow, even though no human is capable of living up to all the things we are supposed to do, God forgives us. As many times as we sincerely ask for forgiveness, God will grant it.  Those of us who grew up in the faith have heard this so many times that sometimes I guess we fail to appreciate what an awesome mystery it really is.  We are all completely unworthy, and yet God delights in forgiving us.  Wow!

Yet I have to say that sometimes, for some lucky ones, I think we can get beautiful glimpses of this mystery in our own families.  I know that not every family is this way, but I do know of many families where one or another person will mess up and everyone else might cluck and worry and fuss about it, but they always forgive and welcome them back.  Even for the repeat offender -- the one in seemingly every family who seems to make the same mistake again and again. I am reminded of my friend Shannon, who once described her family thus:  "We're just a big ole' Irish family.  We fight, then we cry and hug each other, and then we go bail my brother out of jail."  A lighthearted way of saying the same thing -- they practice forgiveness.

I guess I will have to practice some forgiveness in those areas of my life that are racing so out of control right now, too.  And with myself.  As a wise old aunt of Bob's purportedly told him when he was growing up, "The best you can do is the best you can do."  I think that's just a paraphrase of "forgive yourself."

Lord, I thank you for giving me this chance to slow down for at least a few minutes each day and to immerse myself in your word.  Thank you so much for knowing how much I would need this discipline this year and calling me back to it.  Thank you for the forgiveness you give so freely.  Help me to always treasure it and to always be willing to give it.  Please help me to continue to find worthwhile things to write here, and please pour out your spirit on those who walk this Lenten journey with me.  Help us all to fully experience and appreciate the blessings of Lent.  Amen  ¶ 8:28 PM 0 comments

  Thursday of the First Week of Lent
March 17, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/031711.shtml

"If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him."  I just love that line.  The first part is very uplifting, too, but at the same time it can be confusing.  It has not always felt like my experience that when I ask, I shall receive.  I mean, I accept the whole idea that I receive in God's time, not mine, and that He knows what is best for me better than I do. I'm just saying that on the surface, that line raises questions.   The one I pasted in here though, is thoroughly believable and consistent with what I experience. God does give us very, very good things, even though sometimes they are different than the ones we ask Him for. 

In one of those odd coincidences where you can feel the hand of God, just before I sat down to write this I checked Facebook.  There one of Bob's cousins had a posting about her sister, who has suffered from cystic fibrosis for her whole life and now is badly in need of a lung transplant.  Her posting was just a prayer that God would provide the needed new lungs ASAP.  There have been just oodles of posts in response, all just adding their prayers to hers.  Obviously it's too soon to know whether we will see those new lungs appear shortly, but seeing all those people united in that one prayer sure was impactful. I don't know if God will deliver the lungs in time to save Kristi, but I have to believe that those prayers will move Him in some way.

And speaking of moving and the power of prayer, today my friend Renee posted the story of Delaney's 15th birthday celebration, that was held on Sunday.  (Delaney is the friend I mentioned earlier, who is in the final stages of brain cancer.) They used the Hispanic model of the Quincenera, a religious celebration marking the young woman's growth into a Christian woman.  She said that about 250 people came in person, but that the prayers of the many who could not be there were almost tangible.  She said there was such a spirit of peace in the room.  And now that the Quincenera is behind her, Delaney is at peace and ready for whatever comes next.  I believe that when that final step comes, she will go accompanied by the prayers of all those who were present in person and in prayer on Sunday. 

This is sort of far afield from the lessons, but my experience has been that prayer is always valuable in that even when we don't receive what we asked for, even when we don't change God with our prayers, the act of prayer changes us.  When I pray for someone I am angry with, I find that I have forgiven them while I wasn't looking.  When I pray for something I want, sometimes I come to the realization that I don't really need it.  When I pray for others who are suffering, I become aware of how blessed I am.  Probably the MOST valuable part of prayer is how God uses it to change me. 

Father, I thank you for the power of prayer. I thank you for your willingness to hear us, and your willingness to change us.  Tonight I pray in a special way for Kristi to get her lung transplant, and for your Spirit to carry Delaney on her final journey.  Please be with all those who need your help with their health, and with all those who are sharing this Lenten journey.  Help us all to be faithful in our prayer life and to listen to your voice. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.  ¶ 10:04 PM 0 comments

  Wednesday of the First Week of Lent
March 16, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/031611.shtml

As I read the lesson about Jonah convincing the Ninevites to repent of their sin, I am just awed.  For that matter, I tend to have that same reaction when I read about any of the Old Testament prophets.  They were absolutely fearless -- and because they were God worked wonders through them.  I can't begin to imagine having the courage and the conviction to enter a huge city and begin calling out that in forty days' time, it would be destroyed.  Those called to prophecy were about as unlike me as could possibly be.  They completely let go of what others thought, they were unswayed by disapproval and open animosity, and they never showed self doubt. They called it the way God told it to them, and let the chips fall where they may.  I don't know if I have ever acted in that way in my entire life.

I feel compelled to give the King of Ninevah his due, too. His behavior certainly seems different from the rulers of our time.  Imagine a national leader calling for a national repentance. I'm not sure I actually CAN imagine it.  It was also bold and courageous, and showed that he was a true leader.

On a different note, I write this after attending the closing Mass of our parish's Lenten mission.  The guest preacher was very, very good, so I think pretty much everyone in attendance enjoyed it.  I found myself aware of enjoying it in a special way, though.  I sing in the choir and I love doing so.  And I'm a lector, and occasionally cantor.  But because of those ministries, I don't very often get to just sit in a pew and fully participate in the same way as everyone else in the pews.  My husband and son participate in even more ministries, so often even if I'm in a pew, I'm partially thinking about what they are doing. Tonight I was really delighting in just sitting there, saying the prayers, singing the hymns and responses, and being in the moment. 

That's what you sometimes miss when doing ministries, especially music ministry.  Since you are responsible for helping make everything the best it can be for everyone, you are usually at least partially looking ahead.  You might be listening to that prayer and also making sure you know what song is next.  You receive communion and in that moment you are fully involved with the real presence of Christ, but just a moment later you have to shift your attention to something musical.  I believe -- I know -- the presence is still there, nurturing me, guiding me, helping me, even as I move on into the next musical or liturgical consideration.  But sometimes it is nice to have the chance to just savor that special moment with Jesus a little longer.  

Oh Giver of All Good Things, thank you for the opportunity to worship you and thank you for making me slow down, be still, and know that you are God.  Thank you for helping me to know that you are with me. Please give me some measure of the courage of the prophets, at least when it matters.  I lift up those who are traveling the Lenten journey with me: please strengthen them and help them to have some still quiet moments with you as well.  Walk with us all and help us to find the path you would have us follow that will lead us to you and to a blessed Easter.  Amen  ¶ 9:39 PM 2 comments

  Tuesday of the First Week of Lent
March 15, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/031511.shtml

Wow, I didn't remember there being so many words of encouragement in the Lenten readings!  I found this Isaiah reading really uplifting!! I just love the thought that "God's word shall not return to Him void, but shall do His will, achieving the end for which He sent it."  And the comparison to rain, "watering the earth, making it fertile and fruitful, giving seed to the one who sows and bread to the one who eats."

I can only hope that promise holds true for me.  Sometimes I wonder -- especially when I read the Lenten readings, which I have studied every year since at least 2004, and they don't even seem familiar to me.  I can only hope that each year, they are achieving the end for which God sent it that time.  But it is a bit disconcerting.

Just for fun, I decided to go back and look at an old file and see what I said about this reading in 2008, the last time I did this exercise.  Much of it wasn't worth quoting, but I did like this paragraph that I wrote that year:  "Actually, this whole chapter of Isaiah is full of uplift and hope. This chapter contains such well known phrases as 'All you who are thirsty, come to the water! You who have no money, come, receive grain and eat; come without paying and without cost, drink wine and milk!' And 'Seek the Lord while he may be found, call him while he is near.' It’s a great place to turn when you need comfort and strength."

It embarrasses me a bit to admit, even to myself, how rarely I turned to that source of comfort and strength during my two long, painful years of unemployment. I never stopped praying for the needs of others, and I certainly prayed long and hard about my own needs, but how odd that I didn't take advantage of this major source of comfort God sent that could have helped me.  Yesterday I talked about how living by God's rules carries it's own reward; this is sort of the reverse, where making a mistake and not doing what God would have me do carried its own punishment. 

Father, I thank you for all the ways you pour out your blessings upon us.  I especially thank you for the beautiful words of encouragement you give us in your Scriptures.  Please abide in me and in all those who are traveling this Lenten journey with me, and keep us centered in your word.  Help us to turn to you and to the word you have sent us in our times of need.  Please pour out your Spirit on us and help us to listen to you, that we might hear the messages you send us this Lent.  Be that still, small voice in our hearts that leads us on paths of righteousness.  Thank you so much for all the ways you show your love.  Amen  ¶ 10:27 PM 0 comments

  Monday of the First Week of Lent
March 14, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/readings/031411.shtml

Today's readings really hone in on how we are to live our lives.  In the Leviticus reading, we get the familiar commandments.  But in this translation, I think we get a real insight into how specifically they speak to the living of our lives.  For example, “You shall not defraud or rob your neighbor. You shall not withhold overnight the wages of your day laborer. You shall not curse the deaf, or put a stumbling block in front of the blind..." I think that gives a lot of insight into how the commandments are to be applied.

The parable in the reading from Matthew is, as parables are, less of a directive statement, but at the same time it is quite clear what Jesus is telling us:  Feed the hungry; welcome the stranger; care for the ill and imprisoned. That is how you show your love for Him.

I am reminded of another recent conversation with my 17-year-old son.  (Teenagers are a wonderful source of inspiration, I'm finding.  Too bad our priests don't get to be parents -- think of the insights they'd gain into human behavior!)  Anyway, my son was quoting the words of a comedian, but said he found he agreed.  The comedian said he took the position that he wasn't altogether sure he believed in an after life, but given that uncertainty, why take chances?  Some may have chosen to defend our Catholic belief in the afterlife, but I generally find head on confrontations with teenagers futile at best.  Besides, I didn't find his stance particularly negative.

Instead of disagreeing, I told him I could see his point.  But I added that besides that, my observation has been that if you accept and live by the values and behavioral guidelinesChristianity (which are pretty similar to those of all the other major world religions) you will experience a much higher quality of life here on earth.  My experience has been that practicing Christian love and forgiveness, providing help to those in need, treating others fairly and with honesty...those things all bring their own reward.  Life feels better when I am doing those things than when I am not. 

I didn't mention to him, but will add here, that of course we imperfect humans can't seem to succeed at living in that state of grace for very long.  In spite of how good it feels to do the right thing, we are constantly tempted by the short-term satifactions of doing the wrong thing.  It is amazing how easy it is to convince myself that if I don't go help, someone else will; or that it won't hurt to repeat this one tiny (but boy is it juicy) piece of gossip about someone. Doing the right thing feels wonderful, but choosing to do the right thing is often agonizing.  It doesn't make sense, but it is most certainly true. Which, I suppose, is why we have to keep immersing ourselves in the teachings of the faith, and living in community with others, so we can all help remind each other how good it can feel to live out God's plan for us.

Holy Father, I thank you for showing us the path to life, both a happy and fulfilled life here and to life everlasting.  Thank you for giving me family and church family to help illuminate the path for me.  Please walk with us and help us to stay focused on Your will and Your ways.  Please bless all those who are sharing this Lenten journey and trying to walk a closer walk with You.  Amen  ¶ 7:14 AM 0 comments

  First Sunday in Lent
March 13, 2011

For today's readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/031311.shtml

I am posting rather late today, so I have the benefit of having already been to church to hear a priest preach on these lessons.  Our priest focused primarily on the Genesis reading, and particularly about the fall from grace.  Unlike a lot of sermons I've heard over the years, the focus of this one was on the universality of succumbing to temptation.  He told a story about getting a traffic ticket for turning right on red where it was posted "No turn on red."  He stressed that it wasn't that he didn't see the sign, he just gave into the tempation to do it anyway because (he thought) there was no one coming or even around.  He went on to talk about how we all have our "turning right on red"moment, where we give in to the temptation to do what we want to do even though we know it is wrong or falls short of God's plan.  And of course, he said that's why forgiveness -- giving it and seeking it -- are so central to our life as Christians. It was a really good sermon, and I appreciated the fresh way it made me look at the reading.

Prior to hearing that, it was the Gospel lesson that most spoke to me. In fact, this story about Satan tempting Jesus in the wilderness has always spoken to me.  And it is the second of the three temptations that really gets me.  The first one, the temptation with food, well, I get it, but I find it hard to imagine giving into Satan just for food.  Probably belies my lifetime of Western abundance, but there it is. And the third one, where he asks Jesus to bow down and worship him, is just such a bodacious request that it's hard to imagine Jesus even feeling tempted.

But the temptation to test God.....now that one hits close to home.  It just feels to me like we are -- or at least I am -- often tempted to put God to the test.  Maybe it's because I have struggled with -- shall we say, control issues?  I always struggle to let go and just let God be in charge of my life, and even when I am kind of succeeding, there's always that pull to double check.  "You are in charge, God, right?  I mean, it's really OK for me to be off duty?  Because if you felt like you wanted a little backup, you know, I'm right here.  Just say the word." As if God ever needed me to be on backup! As if I was ever in control, even when I most feel that I am!

Father, today I want to thank you especially for putting me in a loving parish where I feel nurtured and cared for.  Thank you for allowing us to be community to one another, to support in prayer and hugs and kind words; please strenghten us in our will to do so.  I pray for all who walk the Lenten journey with me, Lord, that they, too might find a caring community to support them on their path.  Amen  ¶ 1:25 PM 0 comments

 


















  ¶ 9:30 AM 0 comments

  Friday After Ash Wednesday

March 11, 2011



For the readings of the day, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/031111.shtml



Boy, based on the readings so far this Lent, you would get the impression that God really, really doesn't like self-righteousness! Here, God says that he doesn't want people fasting and making a show of it, he wants them "fasting" by taking action: sharing their bread with the hungry, sheltering the oppressed and homeless, clothing the naked.



I find myself with a weird, mixed reaction to calls like this. On the one hand, I really try to make the right choices and live my life every day in a way that is pleasing to God. I like to think that I inherently have a bias toward action. But on the other hand, I've never been one for the big, dramatic actions. More of a play it safe, don't burn my bridges kind of gal.

I heard a piece on NPR the other day about a retired guy in San Diego who is known among the homeless as "Waterman Dave" because he has dedicated his later life to going out every day passing out water bottles to the homeless, and intervening where he can to help them in other ways. I was moved by the story and it seems clear to me that Waterman Dave is following the dictum of this reading, but I gotta tell you, I don't see myself doing something similar. I admire it, but I have never felt called to that kind of service. That get out there every day, make it the focal point of my life kind of service. It seems like that requires a special calling that I just don't have.


But then this reading makes me ask, "Is that a legitimate statement, or is it a copout?" Are we really ALL called to be Waterman Dave? Or is it OK if I take smaller, more mundane actions? Sometime in the past year -- I don't remember what was going on in the economy, but there was some external trigger -- our food pantry at church started getting bare. We don't have a food pantry in the traditional sense, but we keep a small supply of food on hand to help those who turn up at the door looking for something to carry them over. Our pastor put out a plea, and as usual, our parish responded promptly and generously. The next week, or maybe two weeks later, he announced from the pulpit that the shelves were now well stocked again. But then he said something else: "You know, if every family just bought one extra item each week at the grocery and brought it in each week, we would never run low of food." I liked that, because it was a specific, manageable step. I have been trying to do it ever since. I don't succeed at remembering every week, but I do a lot of weeks. Somehow, that feels more like a scale I can manage.

When I read these lessons, though, it doesn't feel like nearly enough. Sigh. I guess that's why we have Lent, isn't it -- to get challenged out of our ordinary rhythms and excuses. In my heart, I know this isn't an either/or proposition but more of a yes/and. Yes, what I am doing is right and proper AND God wants me to do more. And then, God will want me to do still more. Not because He is a demanding or unappreciative God, but because whatever we do, whatever we give, it is never as much as we owe Him. Salvation is easy; living a Christian life, not so much.

Father, I thank you for the challenge. Thank you for giving each of us more than we can ever repay, and for giving us the season of Lent to think about that debt, and what we can do. Help me to resist complacency and to take the actions you ask of me. Help me to be mindful of those in need and to give beyond my comfort level. Pour out your Spirit on me and upon all those who are walking this Lenten journey; give us challenges that we can rise to, secure in your loving acceptance. Amen  ¶ 5:43 PM 0 comments

  Thursday After Ash Wednesday

March 10, 2011



For today's readings, click here www.usccb.org/nab/031011.shtml .



The last few sentences of the Gospel reading are what jump out at me today. "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?” It makes me think of two recent encounters with young people.

First, my 17-year-old son. I can't remember who we were talking about the other day -- it might have been a fictional character -- but my son suddenly said, "How could anyone that rich be unhappy?" It was one of those moments that brought me up short and reminded me that he might be beginning to look and sound like a man -- even act like a man a lot of the time -- but there is still a lot about life he doesn't know. So I told him my opinion, which is that the only things that drive happiness in life are our relationships with other humans and with God. So if someone is rich and uses those resources in ways that build healthy relationships, they will be happy, but if he or she uses those resources in ways that damage relatinships, they will be just as unhappy as a poor person with bad relationships.

The second encounter I know of only second hand. I have a friend, Renee, a former church choir colleague, whose 14-year-old daughter, Delaney, is in the final stages of brain cancer. The family had been told not to expect her to make it to Christmas and obviously she exceeded that expectation, but the ravages of the disease are closing in. Renee posted yesterday that new symptoms are showing up daily. Delaney's 15th birthday is coming up later this week and that has become her new goal -- to make it to celebrate that birthday. But Renee was sharing that while she is sure Delaney will make that goal out of sheer will, she can tell that Delaney is tired and ready to go. She has counseled her siblings on how it's OK, that she is going to a better place to wait for them. Renee said they had spoken the night before and she had told Delaney she understood, saying "If I can't take care of you any more, than who better than Jesus?" She said Delaney just smiled a peaceful smile and closed her eyes in sleep. Now there is a child who has learned the lesson that it doesn't matter to lose the whole world, even her life. Her short life has been full of loving people and a close relationship with God, and she knows with a certainty most of us can only hope for that she need not fear.

It's a lot harder to live that way without the catalyst of terminal disease, of course. But I believe it is what we are called to do. May we all be so blessed as to live our lives with the certainty of our relationship with God that has characterized Delaney's short life, and to form as many caring relationships.

Father, I thank you for blessing my life by knowing Delaney and her family. Please bless them through their final days together. Please pour out upon me and upon those who are walking this Lenten journey with me some of the spirit you have endowed upon her so richly -- the ability to love and be loved, and the certainty of your love. Help me and all who read this to be inspired to lift others as Delaney has lifted me and all who know her. Amen  ¶ 9:56 PM 0 comments

  Ash Wednesday
March 9, 2011

To see the readings for the day, click here: www.usccb.org/nab/030911.shtml

Here it is, Ash Wednesday again. Today we get the annual call to return to God, to set aside the petty cares of daily life and focus on being reconciled to God. I love these readings -- I find them very comforting.

It's funny, those who have known me for years have heard me gripe about Lent a lot of times. I have griped about the mournful, joyless music, about the whole "sackcloth and ashes" approach, about liturgy bereft of joy. But over time, secretly, it has gotten under my skin. Lenten music is actually among my favorite. There is a piece called "Now the Acceptable Time" that ties beautifully into the second reading. The words are based in part on this reading, and the composer managed to really capture the sense of yearning and reaching for God that we are supposed to be feeling during Lent. It is an example of the adage that when we sing, we pray twice -- it evokes emotions in me that are far beyond what I get just reading the text.

Maybe I'm just in the right mental space to come to Lent this year, or maybe I've actually learned something, but more than a lot of other years, I feel like I get it this time: it is good to set aside my day-to-day priorities and focus on how much I need God in my life. It is good to dwell on the fact that I am the created, not the creator; on how much I need God's mercy. Speaking strictly for myself, I think that I am more receptive to the messages of Lent because the past few years have been difficult, and I have been stripped of a lot of my illusions of control. When my career was thriving and everything seemed to be going the way I said it should go, it was harder to accept that I am totally dependent on God's mercy. Give me a few years of employment related issues, some family mental health issues, upheaval in my church life, people close to me suffering big medical problems, and I find myself a lot less cocky.

I must admit that the third reading poses some challenges for me. Truly, when I took a couple years I took off from doing a Lenten blog, it was partly because I felt convicted by this reading. I mean, a prayer blog seems about as far as you can get from "going to your inner room, closing the door, and praying to the Father in secret." And I know from experience that it is very easy to get in God's way in this venture. I feel called to share my personal experiences, yet not have it be about me. It sounds insane, but I'm convinced it is possible. And it is what I am committed to. I hope to post my personal reactions and musings each day, but for the purpose to be not about me, but about God. I think sharing another's walk can help illuminate the path, and that's what I want to do. I am honored if anyone chooses to walk with me, and I thank you for your company. Please share your comments so that I know I'm not on the path alone!

Father in Heaven, thank you for bringing me back to this Lenten discipline. Thank you for making this time for us to slow down and re-evaluate our priorities. Please walk with me and with anyone who chooses to share in these meditations, and help us to discern the path you would have us follow. Help us to rightly prepare during this season, so that when Easter comes, we are prepared to fully appreciate and participate in the Easter miracle. Amen  ¶ 6:49 AM 0 comments