The Resurrection of the Lord
Easter Vigil in the Holy Night of Easter

April 23, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/042311.shtml

The last time I did daily meditations as my Lenten discipline was in 2008, and I am surprised by a change in the intervening years.  Back then, there was a separate set of readings for Holy Saturday.  So I was surprised, when I went to the USCCB readings site today, to find that the only readings shown are those for the Easter Vigil.  I'm not complaining -- being a person who has always participated in the Triduum, I found it sort of odd to treat Holy Saturday like something other than the day of the Easter Vigil. 

The Easter Vigil is, to my mind, the most beautiful service of the year.  It starts with a bonfire outside, from which the Easter candle is lit.  Then we process in with candles, and sit through the readings in the darkness...the account of the creation of the world, Abraham showing that he was willing to sacrifice Isaac for God, Moses parting the Red Sea, Isaiah's song of praise to God and other prophecies, and finally, the discovery that Jesus has risen from the dead.  The lights come up and there is joyous celebration, singing alleluia and gloria.  Those who have been preparing to join the church are welcomed in baptism and confirmed.  Then the entire congregation, including the new members, share in the celebration of the eucharist. It is a long service, and by the end, as a choir member, I am usually physically tired.  But spiritually,  I feel totally energized.  All the symbols and sacraments of the church are allowed to shine at their best in that one service.

Darkness into light; fear into joy; the old made new; celebration and exaltation and joy unbridled.  That's how I experience the core message of the church, and never do I experience it more than on this evening.  I really feel like burdens are lifted from my heart, like I want to laugh and sing and dance for joy.  I suspect I'm not the only one who feels that way, because following this long service (and it is a long one!) I never hear any complaining, and no one ever seems to be hurrying home.  No, everyone seems to want to stay and fellowship, to welcome the new members and visit with old friends in a great communal glow.  I would say that it feels more like a family reunion than anything else.  I find myself looking around at people I see every week through the year and noticing how much I appreciate them. To coin a phrase the Bishop used in our Holy Thursday homily, "The presence of God in me senses the presence of God in them." 

Of course, our Easter celebration is both a culmination and a beginning.  The expectation is that we will go out from there and live as saved people.  We who lived through the discipline and self examination of Lent, who shared in the passion and death of Christ, who rejoiced in the resurrection, are now supposed to go out and act on the teachings of Jesus.  We are supposed to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give aid to the poor.  We are to extend the hand of human kindness to the outcast, to love those who don't make it easy to love them.  In a very real way, the annual celebration of Easter is a bit of a way to fill our tank, to fuel us up for another year of service.  And at least for me, it works.  I will leave the service ready to go try a little harder.  I'll stumble along the way and not always do a good job, but I really believe that God gives partial credit.  In fact, I'm counting on it!

This will be the last new post for this year's Lenten journal.  I want to say a profound thank-you to those who walked this journey with me.  Though Shannon was the only one who ever posted a reply -- and Shannon, I can't say how much I appreciated it -- others did mention it to me here and there, so I know there were other readers.  Knowing you were there helped give me the discipline I needed to stay with it.  The effort of these six weeks has inspired me to return to blogging on a more regular basis.  I won't attempt to maintain the daily pace, but having done it for six weeks, I'm convinced I can write a few times a week faithfully.  So if you're interested in joining my ongoing ruminations on this and that -- a lot more secular stuff than this one -- please join me moving forward at http://www.candidlysusan.blogspot.com/.

Holy One, I thank you for the act of salvation you so selflessly gave, and I thank you for the ancient tradition of the Easter Vigil that so beautifully focuses us on it.  I worship you and praise your name with every fiber of my being, Lord.  I give you all glory and honor and praise; I exalt your name and thank you.  I know that those who have shared this journey with me also share in praising you.  Please strengthen us in our resolve to live to your glory.  Pour out your Spirit, Lord, and strengthen our resolve to live our lives in ways that give you glory every day.  Help us to reflect glory to you in our every word and every deed.  In your glorious name, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we pray.  Amen  ¶ 10:24 PM 1 comments

  Good Friday

April 22, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/042211.shtml


  ¶ 11:31 PM 0 comments

  Holy Thursday

April 21, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/042111a.shtml

I can hardly believe that we are here, at Holy Thursday, the start of the Triduum!! The long Lenten journey is coming to an end, as we take the last few steps that lead us to Easter.

I always forget from one year to the next what amazing readings we get for Holy Thursday.  Any one of the three would be fodder for a week of meditaitions, and on this day, we get them all together!

In the Old Testament reading we get the story of the Passover, still a central celebration of the faith of our Jewish brethren.  I have been so blessed as to share a Seder meal with a Jewish family who are close friends of ours a few years ago, and I wish everyone could have that experience.  It is no wonder that we see our later reading tying our faith to this observance, because it marks another time when God dramatically saved his people.

Then we have the second reading, in which Paul repeats the words of consecration, the words Jesus used as he instituted the Eucharist.  It feels slightly unseemly to talk about a "favorite" sacrament, but let's just say the Eucharist has always been a sacrament that I feel I understand better than some, and for which I have a special appreciation.  It seems to me that I can actually feel that real presence in me, strengthening and supporting me.  I am so grateful that God chose this method of providing this grace, and that I am blessed to receive it regularly.

Finally, the Gospel reading is the beautiful story of Jesus washing the feet of the disciples and commissioning them to follow his example.  Again, I have been blessed to participate in the ritual footwashing at a Holy Thursday service in the past.  Even though it is just a symbolic foot washing, where one takes one shoe off and gets that foot washed by a priest or deacon, it is still very moving.  I found that it felt very intimate, awkward, and not at all comfortable.  Then to imagine that my foot wasn't just being pulled out of my clean leather dress shoe and washed, but coming out of a sandal, filthy with road dirt...being scrubbed, really, by Jesus himself.  How humbling...and what an amazing example.  And THEN Jesus actually says that we are to follow his example, making ourselves subserviant to each other just like this. There's a commandment I think makes us all fall short

I started to say that the theme that runs through all three of these beautiful readings, and the Psalm, is a picture of a God who loves us -- aggressively, passionately, demonstrably.   And that is certainly true.  But one other thing that just hit me is how all these beautiful images took place at the dinner table.  There's this whole movement in youth work in our country to try to encourage more families to share a meal together every day, because they have found that families that eat a meal together are more communicative, the parents have more influence on their children's lives, and the kids are less susceptible to risk factors like drugs, teen sex, and violence.  And here God was millenia ahead of us: he set some of his most important interactions, the stories his people would hear thorughout their lives, at the dinner table.  He knew how to reach his people.

Father, thank you for pouring your love out on us again and again.  Thank you for sparing the people of Israel at the Passover, and for using the Passover in Jesus' day to create the Eucharist and to set a perfect example of service. Touch our hearts and humble us that we might set aside our egos and willingly serve others, as you have taught.  Lead us on these final steps of our Lenten journey and open our hearts so that we can share in the fullness of joy at your resurrection. Amen  ¶ 10:31 PM 0 comments

  Wednesday of Holy Week

April 20, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/042011.shtml

Today I can easily understand and appreciate the link between the Old Testament reading and the gospel.   The gospel tells the story of Judas going to the Sanhedrin and agreeing to betray Jesus for 30 pieces of silver, then denying that it was he when Jesus told the group assembled for the Seder that one of them would betray him. In the first reading, Isaiah tells of faithfully passing along the words that God whispered to him, and then holding his head high and trusting in God as he is badly treated by those who did not want to hear God's word. Of course, the words of Isaiah could have applied equally well to Jesus: he did as his Father told him and held his head high, suffering no disgrace or shame no matter how shamefully he was treated, because he knew he was doing the Father's will.

I learned this year, for the first time, that in some parts of the world today is known as Spy Wednesday to commemorate Judas cutting his deal with the Sanhedrin.  In fact, I was horrified to learn, there is a tradition in Poland of young people throwing an effigy of Judas off a church steeple, dragging it through the streets, and ultimately drowning it in a nearby stream or pond.  Certainly the Jesus-like behavior I want to instill in youth!

I found a really interesting meditation on line where the writer had put herself into the frame of mind of Judas, and wrote about it from his perspective.  She did a great job of capturing the spirit of a disillusioned, disappointed follower.  Jesus was not turning out the way he expected and he couldn't see past his own expectations to accept the true path of salvation.   I think she did a great job of empathizing with this poor, broken man.  If you're interested, you can see her take on it at: http://revruth.wordpress.com/2010/04/01/meditation-for-spy-wednesday/.

I'm glad I wasn't raised in the tradition that focuses so very much on Judas and betrayal.  I mean, we certainly acknowledge the betrayal, but only as a stop on the road to Jesus ultimate victory over death.  Like Isaiah, we know that ultimately God triumphs.  As long as we are with God, no one can defeat us, not even the betrayal of a loved one like Judas.  So I see this reading as more of a cause to mourn for Judas than to condemn him.  He condemned himself, and took his own life, and then he had to answer to God.  How could I, a mere mortal with plenty of failings and weaknesses of my own, presume to judge him?  Even though he did a horrible thing, I can't know how he felt or what caused him to fall.  I see him as much like the woman at the well, whom Jesus said could be stoned by the one who had no sin.  Like the accusers of the woman at the well, I think I'd better just walk away.

Thank you for walking with us through Holy Week, Father. Thank you for giving us such rich imagery of what happened in that last week of Jesus life, and filling it with so many lessons for us.  Father, we pray again for the forgiveness of Judas soul, and we pray that you will forgive all who become disillusioned and make wrong choices -- especially when that description fits us.  We pray for those who are  hurt and disappointed, those who are bereaved, those who are ill and those who care for the ill. Show us where you want us to work to help them, and fill our hearts with compassion and forgiveness.  Use us to do your will, oh Lord, and strengthen us for the vicarious sharing of your passion and death that await on the next two days of this Lenten Journey.  In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.  ¶ 9:35 PM 0 comments

  Tuesday of Holy Week

April 19, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/041911.shtml

The story continues building toward the passion. In today's gospel, Jesus predicts that he will be betrayed, Judas leaves to betray him, Peter proclaims his undying devotion to Jesus, and Jesus predicts that before the cock crows three times, Peter will betray him. Alone, there are several lessons one could take from this reading. But as part of Holy Week, sandwiched between the full story of the passion we heard on Palm Sunday and the story of the passion and resurrection we will hear at the Triduum, it just builds the drama and tension.  Within that greater context, we know that we are all Judas and we are all Peter.  We fail God at every turn, sometimes proactively like Judas and more often, through our own frailties, like Peter. And somehow, inexplicably, God loves us so much that he comes to die for us.

Today was unusual in that I kept getting external reminders of the meaning of the week. An old friend of mine posted a very thought-provoking article on Facebook about how fast-paced our lives are, and how he thinks it is God's way of throwing us into the deep end of the pool, making us give up our illusions of control and learn to really trust in him.  Then I caught the last part of an NPR feature on Easter and family traditions, featuring an extended first-person piece on one woman's experience of Easter.  She told a story of one year when she went shopping for a dress with a friend who was dying from cancer.  When the woman tried on a dress and worried about her figure, the friend, with the perspective that comes from facing mortality, said "Girl, you don't have time for that stuff."  She said that was an aha moment for her, and the perspective she now brings to Easter.  Finally, I was at a meeting in which a Jewish friend had to run off to get home to the Seder meal her husband was preparing, which served to remind me, as Seder meals always do, of the Christian adaptation of that tradition into our Eucharist, which we will celebrate so beautifully Thursday evening. I take all these as little gifts of grace, sent by God to help keep me focused on what matters.

Because I sing in my church choir, I've always experienced Holy Week partly as a marathon.  We always have a final rehearsal with the instruments sometime in the first half of the week, then the services on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday evenings, and some years, including this one, back for another service Sunday morning.  And I hate to admit it, but I've done my share of whining about it.  This year, I'm viewing it as more of a blessing.  And when I stop and think about what's different, I realize what it is.  They always teach that in Lent we should think about our mortality, but I guess it just never really clicked for me.  This year, I lost my little friend Delaney, I have four close friends fighting various cancers, and I learned that another friend, who gave a kidney to her oldest daughter 10 years ago, now has learned that her younger daughter needs a kidney -- and there are no other family members eligible to give.  This year, I think perhaps the message of mortality has reached me in ways it never did before.  And I suspect that is why I see the blessing of Holy Week a little more clearly.

Father, we thank you for the mercy you showed to Peter and the thieves who died beside you and those who put you to death.  We thank you for the mercy you showed to all of us by coming in the person of Jesus and dying for all of us.  I say a special prayer for those loved ones in my life who are dealing with life-threatening problems, and for the families who have lost loved ones.  Please bless and strengthen them, and thank you for allowing me to share in their lives. Help me to find ways to be a blessing to them, as well. Thank you for guiding us on our Lenten journey, and please be with us on these final days of it and lead us ever closer to you.  Amen  ¶ 10:12 PM 0 comments

  Monday of Holy Week

April 18, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/041811.shtml

Today's gospel reading tells the story of Mary washing Jesus' feet with her hair and expensive oil.  Judas objected, saying the fine ointment should have been sold to raise money for the poor, but Jesus brushed aside his concern. 

On Sunday afternoon, I indulged in something I like to do during Holy Week:  I listened to Jesus Christ Superstar. Of course, this is one of the stories it retells, and one that I think Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Weber did an especially nice job with, really catching the spirit of each of the characters.

The point Jesus makes as he brushes aside Judas' complaint is that Mary was right to use her fine oil on him, because there would be plenty of time to care for the poor, but he would soon be gone.  Other than just carrying on the story that leads inexorably to the passion, I think this is the main point of this reading.  We are probably all guilty, from time to time, of being too focused on "doing," on "getting things done," and not enough on simply being with Jesus.

Speaking strictly for myself, I know that even though I am very active in my church -- sometimes BECAUSE I am so active in my church -- I don't always spend the time I should in quiet meditation.  I am occasionally brought up short when the opportunity presents itself and I realize that it feels like a rare treat. Though I certainly hope my motivations are different than those of Judas, I think the end result is still much the same: too much "doing" and not enough "being."  And I think that's one of the big benefits of Lent.  It pushes us to spend some time with Jesus, not doing, but simply being.

Thank you, Father, for calling us to spend time with you. Be with us in the last week of Lent and guide our footsteps more than ever on right paths.  Help us to center ourselves in you and find joy and peace in your presence, that we might arrive at the Triduum rightly prepared to share in your passion and your resurrection. Amen  ¶ 9:52 PM 0 comments

  Palm Sunday

April 17, 2011

To see the readings, click here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/041711.shtml

Here we are at Palm Sunday again!  I can hardly believe five weeks of Lent have passed.  Now we stand at the beginning of Holy Week, where it all comes together.  And of course, it especially comes together today.  I've always found it fascinating how the entire Holy Week experience is covered in the Palm Sunday Mass, then played out again in more detail at the Triduum.

Actually, this one Sunday covers even more than the Triduum.  It starts with Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem and ends with his death.  It makes this one Mass such an emotionally draining experience. First, the triumphant entry, with the crowds singing hosannah.  Then the Last Supper, where Jesus instituted the Eucharist.  On to Gethsemane, where Jesus prays while his followers doze, and then the betrayal. Then the interrogation, the condemnation, the opportunity offered to the crowd to spare Jesus, and on to the debasing, crucifixion, and death of Jesus.  By that time I always feel like I've been through a wringer.  Especially because at my parish, like most, they do the gospel reading with the congregation reading all the crowd parts, so you actually hear yourself saying "Crucify him! Crucify him!"  It becomes very moving and very disturbing.

You know, seeing anyone go through this series of events would be horrendous and disturbing.  But to think that it is God's own Son, a person without sin, makes it exponentially worse.  It is beyond comprehension.  Personally, my self-preservation instinct is so strong that on my own, I cannot allow myself to really, totally allow myself to feel how painful it really is.  And yet I know that is what we are called to do, in order to truly be ready to share in the joy of  the resurrection. So here we are.  One week to ponder the imponderable.  May God's Spirit help us.

Father in heaven, we thank you for the unspeakable sacrifice that you made for us.  Thank you for suffering beyond all our human suffering that we might be spared.  Thank you for loving us that much.  Help us to open our hearts to understand and share that suffering, so that we can truly share in your resurrection.  Strengthen our resolve to walk with you in the bad times as well as the good.  Pour out your Spirit and empower us to love you beyond our human capacity.  Amen  ¶ 9:36 PM 0 comments